i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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