We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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