OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
