I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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