I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I think my moral compass just broke
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
