That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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