tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
