Christians are straight up FREAKS
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
