yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
