Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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