I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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