It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
