office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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