okay pat passed out under dana's car
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
