My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
