Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
