You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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