Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
