I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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