Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
