I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
