Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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