Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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