he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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