Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I believe in your delicious
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
