My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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