So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Randomize
