oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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