Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
