Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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