You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
