I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
