i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
