he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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