i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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