he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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