That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
