My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
