ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We're too hungover to prance.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Floor bacon is actually really good
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
