So drunk, too bad you don't want this
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
