I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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