I wish I only lived at night.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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