I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
there's paper in my vomit.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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