just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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