people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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