My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
