I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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