I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
