its not stalking. its research.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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