Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
