How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
