They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
